


Safe and Broken

by graforlok



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Mental Health Issues, THIS IS SOME SAD SHIT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 13:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graforlok/pseuds/graforlok
Summary: Tim misses his friends, who sometimes visit him as hallucinations now...





	Safe and Broken

**Author's Note:**

> OK so. As someone who has hallucinations, and knows how they are, i figured I could write them in a way that was realistic enough. I've been able to "feel" hallucinations "touch" but I've also had them disappear or just...be like a ghost or something in the sense of you go thru them. BUT ANYWAY. I wanted to write some angst so, I figured since I'm feeling apathetic lately, i would write about Tim being NOT Apathetic. :P 
> 
> Enjoy!

There was a faint smell of blood in the air. The man held himself, pulling at his own hair softly. It was a way to feel anything other than the fear that surrounded him. He tugged and pulled out small hairs, but he didn’t care. He kept pulling at his hair until he starting to hit himself on the head. He hit over and over again until the spot was red and he was feeling numb. He needed to do something, anything to ignore the smell of blood. Anything to ignore the fact that his friends were dead. Anything to ignore them.

He had no more tears left in his sorry self to cry. But they told him to cry. They told him to sob, to wail, to do something. To mourn them as if he hadn’t mourned them already. As if he hadn’t thought about them every damn day that he woke up in a sorry depression. 

Didn’t he miss them? Didn’t he know it was his fault that they were gone? Didn’t he even care at all? 

Yes. Yes he did miss them. He missed them so much. He wanted them back with all of his heart. He wanted to hug them, and talk to them, and he wanted to feel normal again. He wanted to be normal. But that was something he accepted long ago as a far off fantasy. Something he would never achieve. Something he never was, and never will be. And it broke his heart. It didn’t hurt as much as his lost friends, but it hurt in a way he could not explain. 

And now, they stood there in front of him. His friends, his dead friends, wailing to him like banshees, asking him questions he had no answers to. He was scared, but no matter what he did, no matter how much he closed his eyes and hit himself and begged them to go, they were still there. 

“Why, Tim? Why did you do this?” They asked him in unison. They stepped closer, the blood dripping off of them onto the carpet below. Their faces and clothes and fingers were all covered in their own blood, and they reached out to touch him. He flinched away, knowing that their blood would stain him, and that he would be marked by them forever. Everyone would see the blood, and everyone would know what happened. What he did.   
“No! Go away! You’re dead!” He yelled, choking on his spit, coughing.   
“Tim...you said you wanted us back…” They said with no emotion.

He was shaking, he was sobbing though there were no tears escaping him. He hated himself. He hated everything. He hated THEM. Why did this have to happen? Why did that thing have to do this? Why did HE have to do this? 

“You were our friend, Tim. Why did you let this happen?” They asked again.   
“I didn’t! I didn’t! It wasn’t...I didn’t…” He yelled. “I can’t do this…” He said in a softer voice, gathering the energy to stand. “I can’t…” 

“Tim…” He heard a single voice say. A soft voice, one that he recognized immediately. It wasn’t garbled or angry or emotionless like the other voices. It was gentle, and he wanted to run towards it and not away. 

It was Brian. Just Brian. And he was safe. He wasn’t bloody. Everything bad had disappeared and was replaced with this.   
“B-Brian…” He said so quietly he could barely hear himself.   
“You don’t need to be sad.” Brian said, smiling at him. Tim felt tears once again forming in his eyes.   
“Brian...I didn’t mean to…” He said, as they both reached their hands out towards each other. 

When their hands touched, however, Brian was gone. Tim looked around, slowly at first, trying to find his friend. He wasn’t there. He soon became frantic in his actions, tossing clothes and books, smashing the TV, looking for his friend. He threw things, small things and big things...Anything that he thought would uncover where his friend went. It was useless. He wasn’t there.   
“Brian!? Brian come back! Please!” He was screaming so hard his voice became hoarse and frail. “Brian…” He squeaked out, sobbing dryly as he fell to the floor on his knees in the mess he had made. He clawed at the floor, wanting nothing but to hold his friends. He wanted them to be ok. But they weren’t. And they wouldn’t be. 

Tim felt a hand on his shoulder, and a voice from behind him. “I’ll always be with you. I’m never going to leave you, bud.” It was Brian’s voice. Tim let out a loud sob, wiping his eyes and not turning around. He was so scared that Brian would leave again if he turned around or made the wrong move, so he just kneeled there, sobbing and allowing Brian to gently talk to him. “You’re safe. I’m here.” Brian said, kneeling down and hugging Tim from behind. Tim could feel the warmth of Brian’s body against him. It was almost real. He felt himself melt into the touch. His eyes hurt from crying, and his throat hurt from screaming. He had his friend though. And his friend promised...He promised he was ok. They were all going to be OK.


End file.
